Signs and Symbols of the Orthodox Marriage Service

by

Fr. Panayiotis Papageorgiou, Ph.D.

INTRODUCTION,

God created Adam and lovingly offered him the heavenly state of Paradise. In Paradise, Adam could not find a companion, a being similar to him, so God put him to sleep, took one of the ribs from his side and created the woman, Eve, to be his companion. In this way, God dissolved his loneliness and offered them the opportunity of a loving communion in the image of the Holy Trinity. God united man and woman and commanded that the two "become one flesh." We know from the Holy Scriptures, that God created them according to "his image" with the purpose to attain the highest state of perfection. Through this blessed union, God wants to help mankind in their struggle to reach holiness. He wants them to become perfect, like Him. He wants them to attain the highest state of human existence, the state of theosis (deification). At the same time man and woman become co-workers and co-creators with God by giving birth to children and helping them also to attain perfection.

Hence, the Church, following the example of the Lord who blessed the marriage in Cana of Galilee with his miracle, and also heeding to the words of St. Paul who calls marriage "a great mystery," blesses the union of man and woman, praying that the grace of God may visit them and help them to support each other on the way to perfection.

The service of Holy Matrimony in the Orthodox Church is full of symbols drawn from the theology of marriage. The ultimate purpose of the ritual symbols is to highlight the essence of Christian marriage using external forms and manifestations.

With this booklet, we wish to help the newly wed couples, but also those attending the marriage service, to understand the deeper meaning of Orthodox marriage and its sacramental dimension as expressed symbolically in the movements and signs used in the ritual.

The service of Holy Matrimony as conducted today, is divided into two parts: the Engagement Service and the Crowning.

A. THE ENGAGEMENT SERVICE

The Engagement Service precedes the Service of Holy Matrimony. In the past, the Engagement Service used to be the official promise for marriage. This was followed by a time of preparation of the couple, which gave them the opportunity to get to know and love each other.

Today, the Engagement Service is an extra prayer and blessing of the Church to the couple about to be married.

THE RINGS

During the engagement service, the rings are blessed by the priest over the Gospel Book. Then, holding the rings with his right hand, the priest makes the sign of the cross over the couple's heads saying: "The servant of God....(name) is betrothed to the servant of God ....(name), in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." He then places the rings on the second finger of their right hands. The best man and maid of honour exchange the rings between the bride and groom three times.

Rings have been used since ancient times as symbols of the promise for marriage and are frequently encountered in the Old Testament. Apart from been symbols of the bond between the couple, they are also symbols of authority and honour. In the ancient times, by giving her a ring, the man gave his wife the authority to govern within his household. Authority and honour, are also manifested in the prodigal son's story where the father welcomes back his son and orders for a ring to be placed on his right hand as a sign of his acceptance of him as a free man and not as a servant. The exchange of rings symbolizes the couple's dependence on each other and the love they will be sharing from now on, as well as their commitment to remain faithful to each other.

B. THE SACRAMENT OF THE CROWNING

The office of the crowning is the holy matrimony service itself. This is the office during which we pray for our Lord Jesus Christ to be present at the ceremony Himself and bless the union of the couple.

THE WHITE COLOUR OF THE WEDDING GOWN

The bride, enters the church dressed up like a princess in white. The white colour of her wedding gown symbolizes the purity of her soul and body. On his side, the groom offers his own purity to the bride. Having being blessed by the Grace of God in the sacrament of matrimony, they will now proceed from the state of the ascesis of virginity to the state of the ascesis of love within marriage.

THE CANDLES

Within the Orthodox tradition, the lighting of candles during prayer, symbolizes the light of Jesus Christ, which enlightens and sanctifies "every man, who comes into the world" (John 1:9). It also stands as a reminder of the flames of Pentecost.

The candles are lit during the service and they lead the procession out of the Church, symbolizing the light of Christ, which the newly weds received through the sacrament, and which will enlighten their path in their new life together.

THE BEST MAN AND BRIDESMAID

They are the representatives of the people of God, the Church. They stand as witnesses to the promise of love and devotion between the new couple. The best man and bridesmaid, surround the newly weds with their love, and offer their prayers for the blessing of this marriage. They also promise to stand by them and always support them.

THE JOINING OF THE RIGHT HANDS

At some point during the service, the priest praying that the two may be united together "in oneness of mind" and crowned with wedlock into one flesh...", joins symbolically the right hands of the couple. The hands are kept joined together throughout the service, pointing to the eternal unity of the couple in the eyes of God.

From this moment on, they are joined in harmony both in a spiritual as well as a physical way.

THE CROWNING

The crowns are royal symbols. With the sacrament of marriage a new kingdom is created. The groom and bride are crowned as the king and queen of their own kingdom, their own home and family.

The priest, after having blessed the crowns over the gospel book, makes the sign of the cross over their heads invoking God Himself to crown them with glory and honour as king and queen in their new small kingdom, where they should govern with prudence, wisdom and justice.

The wedding crowns also remind us of the crowns of the martyrs of the Christian faith, emphasizing the dimension of sacrifice and martyrdom required in the Christian life and marriage in order for the spouses to reach perfection (theosis).

THE READING OF THE EPISTLE

The Epistle reading is from the Epistle of St. Paul to the Ephesians (5:20-33). In this, we have a summary of the theology of the Church on marriage. This is essentially, the mutuality of love between husband and wife. St. Paul explains that, on the one hand, the man should love and protect his wife just like himself, having the love and self-sacrifice of Christ for the church as prototype. On the other hand, the woman should love and respect her husband, just like the Church responds to the love of Christ.

In this way, they will be able to rejoice in everything, always!

THE READING OF THE GOSPEL

The Gospel reading is taken from the Gospel of John. It is an account of the first miracle of the Lord at the wedding at Cana in Galilee. There, Jesus converted the water into wine so that people would drink and celebrate marriage. With His presence, He blessed the institution of marriage and through his miracle. He emphasized that the human "wine" is not enough.

The Lord's blessing is also required. So, Jesus blesses where He is invited. He blesses the wine of love and happiness so that it may never to run out.

THE BREAD AND THE COMMON CUP

The bread and the common cup offered to the couple during the service are remnants from the time when marriage was blessed within the Divine Liturgy and the couple participated in the sacrament of the Holy Eucharist, the Holy Communion. Now, that the marriage service is held outside the Divine Liturgy, the bread and the common cup are no longer the Body and Blood of Christ, but remind us symbolically that marriage finds its true meaning within the Holy Eucharist.

From ancient times, bread and wine were considered as basic elements of life. The bread nurtures the body and the wine makes the heart rejoice. The newlyweds share symbolically for the first time from the same loaf of bread and drink wine from the same cup of life in order to seal in this way their love. Their participation in the common cup and bread also symbolizes that from now on they will be sharing everything in life, both the joys as well as the sorrows, and they will be lifting each other's burdens. From now on, none of them is alone but they have the other next to them. The two have become one.

By retaining the elements of bread and wine within the sacrament of marriage, the Church wants to remind the newlyweds that they should be joining together frequently to Christ's Body in the Divine Liturgy through their participation in Holy Communion in order to sanctify themselves.

THE CEREMONIAL WALK

The joyful service of Holy Matrimony is completed with a ceremonial walk. The priest, chanting the good news of the fulfilment of the prophesy of Isaiah through the birth of Christ, leads the bridegroom in a circular walk around the table on which is placed the Gospel, the Word of God. The new husband and wife are taking their first steps together led by the Church, which is represented by the priest.

The circle symbolizes perfection and the circular walk eternity. The Church leads the newlyweds toward eternal life and perfection. They are asked to always walk with Christ, the Incarnate Word of God, born of a virgin, at the centre of their lives. They are asked to make Christ the pillar of strength and the centre of their family. In this way only will they be able to stand firmly in the storm of life and attain the goal of "theosis". Through the second hymn sung at this time, we ask the Holy Martyrs of the Church to intercede for the couple, thus pointing out again the aspect of martyrdom associated with the Christian life and marriage, but also the promise of the final crowning of the victors by God. In the third hymn, we offer praise to the Lord Jesus Christ, who is the pride of the Apostles and the rejoicing of the Martyrs. It is for the sake of Jesus Christ that we accept the martyrdom of the loving coexistence in marriage, confessing at the same time the God of one essence who exists in Trinity in a perfect loving relationship.

THE PRESENCE OF OTHER CHRISTIANS

The congregation of the Church participates in the sacrament of Holy Matrimony with their presence and their prayers. Our prayer is the most important reason for which we have been invited to the ceremony.

We must all pray along with the couple that Jesus may be present at this marriage, as he was also present at the one in Cana of Galilee. Just like then, so also now, we ask him to bless this marriage and join these two people in an eternal bond of love.

"Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong as death, jealousy is cruel as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, a most vehement flame.  Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly scorned. "

From the "Song of Solomon" (Chapter 8, 6)